In my previous post, Ways to boost your confidence after having a baby, I talked about boosting your confidence after having a baby. Today I want to add to that with some practical tips you can use to really feel confident – whether that’s confident to return to work or confident to stay home with your baby. Just confident in yourself!
- Do some power poses. Don’t laugh – it’s really a thing! Take a look at Amy Cuddy’s famous TED Talk. She discusses in detail how it works and the best ways to stand.
- Do something that scares you. This sounds silly, but when we do something that scares us, we get a great feeling afterwards that can really boost our confidence. It doesn’t have to be something massive – though the bigger the “thing,” the bigger the confidence boost. Try to do something every day that scares you a little, even if that’s asking for help in a shop!
- Visualise. Again, this might be something that just seems too simple to be effective but it can really work. Spend a little time each day daydreaming about how you want to be. Really visualise the details of the life you want and of things you know will make you a confident person. Over time this visualisation will leak into your real life until you find yourself doing the scary things!
Affirm, Affirm, Affirm to Boost Confidence
- Use affirmations. Each morning, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am confident in my ability today.” You can choose whichever affirmation works best for you of course, and you can change them if you like. You can do them while you’re washing up, while you’re rocking your baby to sleep, any time you’re doing something that allows you to zone out a little, you can repeat your affirmations to yourself. Here are a few examples:
- I am confident, beautiful and loved.
- I am doing my best every day.
- I love myself for who I am.
- I am in charge of my own happiness.
- I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.
- I am grateful for every day.
- Help someone else. Having a baby can leave you feeling a little lost at sea, as if you’re not really sure what you’re doing! This can really knock your confidence but often as mums we are way more capable than we think. When we help others, we realise that actually we’re pretty competent and we do have something to offer the world. You could do something as simple as hold a shop door open for a mum with a pushchair. That act of helping someone else can really help to improve your confidence.
- Take care of yourself. When you become a parent, self care is often the first thing to go out the window. It can be so hard to find five minutes to yourself. Before you know it you’re feeling run down, stressed out and thoroughly miserable. Self care can feel really selfish when you’ve got a tiny human who depends on you for everything. But a little bit of time to yourself here and there can really help you to feel a lot better about things and more confident in general.
- Talk back to that voice in your head! We all have that voice that tells us we’re no good or we’ve lost our touch. It tells us parts of our bodies look awful, that we’ve let ourselves go or that our face/hair/arms/whatever just don’t look right. Left unchecked, this voice can wreak havoc on our lives. Talk back to it (not out loud if you’re in a public place!) and kill it with logic: I dropped one thing; it doesn’t mean I’m no good! My face is beautiful! My legs are strong and carry me to where I need to go! This can really help to shut that voice up.